Hell Of A Life
by Whitesnake227
Summary: Rock and Revy return to Roanapur. Rock is still hung up on Yukio's death. He gets help getting over those events from an unlikely source. One-shot


_**"People are just like dice. We throw ourselves in the direction of our choosing."**_

Roanapur, where people come to die. We have a casket just for you. A city that people refuse to admit exists. And if you do, you probably live here. Sometimes, I think about my life back home. I did have a job. A shitty job, but a job nonetheless. I never had to worry about my life constantly being in danger. Living in a city where there is a pickpocket lurking around every corner, and if their not a pickpocket, they are more than likely to be a stone cold killer. I leave my room and find a note on the table in the main room.

**_Rock_**

**_Benny and I have gone to pick up the new electronic equipment and get it on the ship. If you need us, call. Let Revy know if you're going out. She hates being left out of the loop and as your employer, I can't have anybody under my watch going on a killing spree without my consent._**

**_Dutch_**

I go over to Revy's room. She's always asleep. In some odd way, I've come to think of her as my best friend. I didn't have many friends back home. Matter of fact, I don't think I had any friends. I just had co workers. I remember having talks about the comings and goings of everyday stuff, but we never spoke about our personal lives. Nothing more than empty words between people. Revy is different. She has no problem calling me out for doing dumbass things.

"Revy, Revy wake up." I said shaking her as gently as I could.

I watch Revy's eyes flutter open. She looks at me. We lock eyes. She sits up and looks around. As the covers fall, I turn away at the sight of her bra.

"Relax Rock, it's not like my boobs are out." Revy said. "Seriously Rock, we're pals. You don't have to turn around any time you see some skin."

"I know that, Revy." I told her. "Still, its common courtsey to turn away. I may be a criminal, but I still have my manners"

"Give me a fucking break." Revy said with a sigh.

"Anyway, Dutch and Benny are out for day." I said. "Looks like it's just me and you for the day. You got any plans I should know about?"

"Not really." Revy said getting up and going to the bathroom. "You?"

"Well, I've been thinking about something." I said going to the main room.

"Don't tell me, that schoolgirl again?" Revy said as I hear the shower turn on.

Yukio Washimine, of the Washimine Family. The only daughter of Ryuzo Washimine. She was a very nice, kind, and benevolent girl. She reminded me so much of myself. Someone who was forced into a position she shouldn't have been in. The more time I spent with her, I saw myself. I've come to think of myself as someone who walks in the twilight. Someone who sees both sides clearly. I saw her lean more and more towards the darkness. And as Hotel Moscow took down the Washimine Group, her bodyguard Ginji is killed right in front of her by Revy. Overwhelmed with remorse, she took her own life as penance.

"Rock, let it go." Revy said. "You did all you could. She already had her mind made up when she decided to become the head Jumbo's little club. Stop dwelling on it."

"Easier said than done." I said.

I see Revy come out of her room fully clothed.

"Ain't that the fucking truth." She said giving me one of her trademark grins. "I'm going to see Eda, she has a job for me. Small time, but the payoff is more than worth the effort. Wanna come?"

"No thanks." I said solemnly.

I sit on the couch like the Buddha in meditation. From the corner of my eye, I see Revy walk out the door.

"Dumbass…" I hear Revy whisper as she closes the door.

Maybe some fresh air could help me get my mind together. As I walk through the streets, I can feel people reach into my pockets, too bad I don't have any money to give them. Why Yukio? Why did she have to give up such a wonderful future for the night? She said she hated the night. Yet she picks the criminal life. Ginji Matsuzaki, why didn't you try to help her? As I'm lost in my thoughts, I bump into someone. It's a woman. Her groceries scatter on the ground.

"I'm sorry, I should have paid more attention." I said helping her pick up the food.

"No harm done." She said. "Accidents happen."

Getting a better look at her, it was Gina. Teach's helper. I met them before going off to Japan. Judging from her face, she recognized me as well.

"Well hey there, haven't seen you in awhile." She said cutting the distance between us. "Revy isn't with you, is she? I'm in no mood to deal with her."

"No she isn't." I told her.

"Well, that's good." She said. "Now, maybe you and I can get to know each other a little better. I barely spoke to you last time we saw each other."

"That's because you and Revy were moments from killing each other." I pointed out. "Actually, I'm glad you here. Is there anyway I can talk to Teach?"

"Yeah, he's free today." She said.

I followed Gina back to the office. She opened the door for me despite having grocery bags in her hands. I guess Teach is very serious about somethings.

"I'm home." Gina called out. "And I brought a guest."

From out of Teach's office doors comes, Miss Balalaika. She smirks at seeing me here. Gina on the other hand, didn't look pleased to see Miss Balalaika here. I guess maybe her and Teach have some history with her.

"Hello Rock, fancy seeing you here." Miss Balalaika said. "And Gina, we must catch up soon. It's been so long since I've seen the young face of yours."

I turn around and Mr. Boris is coming through the door.

"Captain, we are ready to depart." He said.

"See you soon, Rock." Miss Balalaika said heading for the door.

Mr. Boris saw me and nodded before closing the door behind him. At least he acknowledged my existence. Gina stormed into Teach's office.

"What the fuck was that?" She screamed at him.

Teach is sitting down with his feet on his desk. Cigarette in his mouth. He wearing that black and gold jacket over his red shirt. He has on a New York Yankee's baseball cap.

"Why the fuck was she fry face here?" Gina screamed. "Answer me dammit. I swear to god I will jump over that desk and tear you a new asshole if you don't answer me."

Teach turned to her and smiled.

"Oh hey, I didn't hear you come in." Teach said. "Did you see Balalaika when you came in? If not, she came by to talk to me if you can believe it. Something about going with her somewhere. I wasn't paying much attention. She said she would come back."

This guy is way too relaxed. For someone who could stand on equal footing as Miss Balalaika, and Hotel Moscow. Mister Chang, and the triads. The cartel, and the Rip-Off Church. He doesn't look too interested in the coming and goings of the gangs. Then he notices me.

"Rock, to what do I owe the pleasure?" He asked.

"I wanted to talk you, if that's okay." I said.

"Sure, sit your ass down." He said pointing to the chair. "Gina, let the men talk for a minute. I'm sure you can understand."

Gina closed the door. Teach, former pirate. I think that's plain to see with all the jewelery he has own. Like he's in some kind of rap music video. Some reason, he looks disconnected. Like he's not all there.

"Between us, do you think I should get Gina to wear a maid outfit?" He asked.

"Excuse me?" I said being caught off guard.

"I've been watching a lot of anime recently." He said. "From what I've seen, the main protagonist has some sort of female ally. And when they are at they're at their main headquarters of the series, the female has on a maid outfit. Do you think Gina would go for it?"

"I wouldn't know." I told him. "I really don't know her. So I wouldn't know if Gina would be interested in something like that."

"Very honest, very like you." He said. "So what's on your mind?"

"I don't know really." I admitted. "I'm kind of in a funk. It all started when I met a young schoolgirl named Yukio. She reminded me of myself. She ended up living the life that you and I do. She's dead now. She wanted be like us. Looks like she got her wish."

"Sounds to me like some dumb bitch who bit off more than chew." Teach said bluntly.

"Don't talk about her like that." I snapped. "She wanted to save her disgraced family. Even though it's fucked up, she tried anyway. She knew the risks. You have no right to speak if her like that."

"My point, exactly." He said. "You took that insult as if I was saying those statements about you. You saw yourself in her. You thought she could the same path you do, but she didn't. And you can't accept it. Now why is that? Is that about you? Or her?"

I didn't respond. A evil smirk crept across his face.

"You think you're better than her, don't you?" He asked.

"_**Ginji….."**_

_**"I'm afraid Ginji, is no longer with you. There was a path you could have chosen to avoid ending up like Miss Balalaika. And I, always assumed that's the one you would choose. But, I guess that's where I was wrong. Be honest with yourself, this isn't about you saving face as yakuza. The truth is you wanted to be part of the night so you can be with him. That's all this is. Because I stand in the twilight, I see things you can't. You should have asked Ginji to throw away his sword and run away with him."**_

_**"And become wanderers together? Seeking a far away land. Maybe open some shop. That sounds like a romantic comedy."**_

_**"This is no comedy. Where is the real you, anyway?"**_

_**"Sure, I've often wondered if I would have been able to live like that. But what's the point of torturing myself. I've already thrown my dice and this is the world I live in."**_

_**"Why…. Why did I have to come to this Ginji?"**_

_**"Everything became distorted when you lied to yourself that you wanted this. But you were too smart to believe it so there was no escape for you."**_

_**"Eleven."**_

_**"What?"**_

_**"Eleven, that's the number of people who were killed since the night I threw the dice."**_

_**"Believe me when I say that this city is full of people with blood on their hands."**_

_**"Now that I've woken up I realise, your city doesn't have a place in it for me. Not anymore. I apologize for having troubled you like I did. I think it's best if I put an end to all this right now."**_

_**"Don't look at her, Rock. Look at me."**_

"You do, you think you're better than her." Teach said. "I can understand your side. Seeing how you're alive and she's dead. Feeling that you made the right choices when she didn't. Well, let me hit you with some criminal knowledge. It's the other way around."

"I'm sorry." I said not getting what he means.

"He means, you're nothing." I heard Gina said as she opened the door.

"I still don't get it." I told her.

"If you had to choose between being god's worst enemy or nothing, what would you choose?" Teach asked.

"I would rather be nothing." I said.

"And that's what you are, nothing." Teach said. "Which is why you had a shitty, dead-end job. Getting your ass kicked day after fucking day. Because you do nothing. And why, because you want to live a long life? On a long enough timeline, the survival rate for everyone drops to zero. Or it it because you're afraid of going to hell? I rather go to hell than simply cease to exist. As least than I could be punished. And if I'm punished, I could be saved. You my friend, do nothing. So that's all you're going to be, nothing."

"I want to save people, but not if the price is too high." I said.

Teach's feet the table and now he's mere inches from my face.

"Everyone pays a price." Teach said. "Someone out there somewhere is paying a price for every action you ever make. You can't deliberately walk to an unknown destination along dangerous path without expecting to step over the corpses of all your friends. There are no shortcuts. If someone laugh, another person cries. If someone get's a job, someone lost a job. When someone is born, someone dies. If a life is saved, someone else will take their place. This is the way the world works. And the world keeps on turning. It stops for no one. Get over yourself."

Teach falls back into his chair and takes a deep drag of his cigarette.

"Thank you for the time." I said getting up and turning to Gina. "I'll show myself out. And by the way, have you ever considered wearing a maid outfit?"

Gina's jaw drops as I walk out the door. As I come back to the place I know call home, Revy is waiting for me on the couch.

"Where the hell were you?" Revy asked.

"Getting sympathy from the devil." I told her.

"I've been to Rowan's strip club too." Revy said picking up a magazine. "Next time though, would it fucking kill you to leave a note for let somebody know. All the blue-collar bullshit, and now you too good to use a phone."

I don't know what I'm going to do now, but what I do know is that I've been looking at this from an odd perspective. If I really want to survive, I have got to change."

* * *

Author's Note: This is based from the aftermath of my favorite Black Lagoon arc, Fujiwara Gangsta Paradise. I playing off how they do it in the anime. Because during the fight with Revy and Ginji, Rock talks down to Yukio. So I used that. Also for me, this was the arc the really showed me, that in her owe fucked up way, Revy is attracted to Rock. Please review, tell me what you think. Fav it, follow it, but most importantly, thanks for reading it.


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